How satisfying is the work you do? Are you completely fulfilled? If you love what you do and are content in your job, congratulations! According to Gallup’s Work and Workplace Trends poll in 2021, less than half (48%) of the employees surveyed are satisfied with their jobs. If your work is not fulfilling, don’t worry. You’re not alone.

The feelings of satisfaction and fulfillment will vary depending on the person, the work, the company, and circumstances. But you have a greater chance of experiencing those feelings at work, once you know your purpose.

What is Purpose?

What comes to mind when you see or hear the word purpose? Take a minute to reflect on that question and write your response.

When you search for the word purpose on Brittanica.com, you’ll see three definitions to describe it. I think all three of are important to highlight:

• Purpose is the reason why something is done or used : the aim or intention of something
• Purpose is the feeling of being determined to do or achieve something
• Purpose is the aim or goal of a person : what a person is trying to do, become, etc.

If you don’t have a mission, vision, plan or goal driving you, then you are more likely to wander aimlessly. Finding your purpose can sound daunting if you don’t know where to start, but you are probably finding purpose and setting goals in your life already.

You create a checklist, a goal chart, a project plan, or whatever works to ensure you complete what I call mini-purposes to get you through the day—everyday. You are led by a purpose, even if it’s not your own.

Now, instead of only taking those mini-purpose steps, you can take bigger steps toward finding your purpose and passion.

How Do You Find Your Purpose?

There is no shortage of suggestions for how to find your purpose. Below are three different approaches. Decide on one, or pursue all three.

Reflect on your childhood – The first one is based on how you answer this popular question that’s meant to help you tune in to your purpose. The question is usually some version of this: “What did you like to do when you were a child?” Why? Because children don’t limit themselves. If they want to do something, they put all of their time and energy into doing it.

Children are constantly asking “Why?” “How?” “When?” or “If” they can or can’t do something, and they want to know “Why not?” “For how long?” or “How do you know? They use their imagination to dream up endless possibilities.

A few years ago, I attended a wellness workshop hosted by ComPsych that focused on purpose and passion. The facilitator asked us, participants, to list seven things that we liked to do when were children. She said skill sets start from our childhood.

When I was a child, I loved to write stories, draw, sing, try playing the piano, watch cartoons, and other TV shows and movies, and I loved to talk—whether I was acting, hanging with friends, or speaking in public settings.

Next, the facilitator asked if we could find any commonalities among the things we listed. When I looked at my list, I noticed everything was affiliated with fine arts and communication.

Thinking about what you enjoyed doing as a child is one way to unlock the mystery of your natural talents, abilities and skills. Back then, what could you do for hours without being bored? What were you doing that you wouldn’t even want to stop to eat, or you wouldn’t notice when someone was speaking to you?

Take a few minutes to reflect back on those times, and then try listing seven things you liked to do when you were a child. What do you notice about your list? Next, ask yourself if you still enjoy doing them. Finally, review the list and assess what they all have in common.

What can you do to reclaim that passion and focus you felt as a child? Why aren’t you doing those listed things now? Often finances can prohibit people to pursue their purpose and passions.

The idea of doing something for free may be hard to fathom when bills and debt are constantly rising. Paying down debt and managing bills are real challenges so, if purpose (or passion) work isn’t lucrative, then pursuing that work may seem futile.

Reject financial worries for a moment – The second approach to finding purpose is focused on this other popular question, “What would you do even if you didn’t get paid for it?” The facilitator of the workshop also asked us that question. A similar version of this question is “What would you do if you didn’t have to worry about money?

Here’s my list:

• Write books
• Become a motivational speaker
• Draw and paint
• Sing in a gospel group
• Travel often
• Watch movies
• Start a non-profit organization
• Start my own business

Take a few minutes to consider the money and payment questions from the second approach above. The money question may even prompt the same responses you had to the first approach (that focused on what you enjoyed doing as a child), and that’s okay. List at least four things you would do even if you never got paid for them.

Knowing what activities, tasks and events you would choose to go and do, even if you were never paid, is another approach to consider when searching for your purpose. During that wellness workshop I attended, the facilitator also shared that we are the only ones who can bring the passion out of our lives.

Recognize your strengths – The third approach to finding your purpose is identifying your strengths. This approach is based on the perspectives of Marcus Buckingham, coauthor of Now, Discover Your Strengths, author of Go Put Your Strengths to Work, and former Senior Researcher at Gallup. Buckingham says strength is “an activity that makes you feel strong.”

Being strengthened by something is different from being good at something. You can be good at something doesn’t energize you. In fact, what you’re good at may actually deplete your strength. Buckingham also says, “[A strength] draws you in, it makes time fly by while you’re doing it, and it makes you feel strong.”

Only you know what makes you strong. No one else can tell you what does or doesn’t. For example, I am pretty good at administrative tasks, like managing projects, but when I perform those tasks, I feel exhausted. On the other hand, when I facilitate training, I am full of energy before, during and long after the training.

Take a few minutes and consider what type of work or which tasks strengthen you, i.e., makes you strong? List as many as you can. Be as specific as possible by considering the following questions:

• What is the work (or task)?
• When are you typically doing (or completing) it?
• Are you alone or with others? Who are the others? Why are they significant?
• Why or how does the work (or task) give you strength?

According to Buckingham, only 2 out of 10 people are actually playing to their strengths. You can join those few by identifying yours. Using this third approach, like the first two above, can help you take the first steps on the journey to finding your purpose and passion.

You only have one life to live. Live it on purpose.

Defining the Ashes

Let’s be clear in voice. The Ashes Have Voices is exactly what it sounds like. The ashes are the burned and smoke-filled memories, and past thoughts and actions that have the right to be heard through your voice. If suppressed, these things can lead to mental health challenges for men and women.

Challenges for Women

Women are expected to carry it all. Work. Home. Children. Husband. We are trying to build the fort, and hold down the fort, while sometimes it feels like the fort is burning down at the same time. The load can become overwhelming. In an article by Timothy Diehl, he outlines five expectations of daughters that eventually impact them as women: be beautiful, stoic, small, soft and passive. So, if women speak up for themselves or others, they are generally called the “b” word. (And if you are a black woman who speaks up, then you are an “angry” black woman.) Managing who we really are and who others expect us to be can be exhausting.

Challenges for Men

And men, we know you are not exempt. According to the National Institute of Health (NIH), more than six million men–from the executive level to the warehouse floor–suffer from depression every year. It is easy to think that you are alone or that you are not supposed to get depressed, but it happens to everyone. What you are going through may seem permanent, however, with the right help (e.g., talking to a friend, seeing a therapist, or prayer and meditation), depression can be kept from leading to worse situations.

Taking the Next Step

Look, we all have stuff. Good stuff. Bad stuff. Ugly stuff. Most of us are trying to just stay above the fray and manage the day to day, so we push down everything else in order to survive. Admittedly, reconciling your past with your present isn’t an easy task, but pushing it down, and not speaking out or sharing it can be a death sentence causing you to wither away on the inside and the outside.

You have to breath and know that what you do and what you have been through does not define who you are. Challenges will continue to come and go for as long as you are alive. The question is what will you do with them? Will you keep silent and let them remain ashes?

Give the Ashes a Voice

No matter who you are or where you are, you have a voice. You do not have to live in shame and fear of what you have done, or what someone has done to you. Today is a new day, and you have the chance to begin again with all the grace and mercy of God. The choice is yours. No one can make it for you. You must be willing to make the first step and let your voice be heard.

So, what is it going to be?